I know I’ve mentioned before that we were getting a shade structure built over our back playground, but I hadn’t shared a picture yet. It actually looks even nicer than this since it was painted white last week to match our white picket fence. It does make it more pleasant to play outside, although in the afternoons the heat just radiates off that concrete and unfortunately still makes it hard to take the kids out to play then. We mostly play in the morning when it’s nice and cool. Today was great since it wasn’t hot at all, even around 4pm when it’s usually unbearable. And the sun wasn’t beating down on us thanks to the shade structure~

Suuuuper long day for me today, and I had a full house so I was determined to make my life easier by keeping the kids occupied for pretty much every passing minute of it. Bored children swiftly become crazy children. My boss had work all day today so her two boys were with me until 4pm, plus the two girls whose dad is a firefighter and had the 12 hour shift today. I marched them outdoors at 7am and let them stay out there until around 9:15am. By then the number of kids had gone up to seven and I moved them immediately from snack time to circle time to curriculum time without the “play time” they’ve become accustomed to with their other teachers in between. I just don’t think it’s practical or sensible to have them do one worksheet, get a 15 minute break, then try to wrangle them back into their seats again after they’ve already started playing with their toys. It’s just making more trouble for myself. So instead I aim for getting all our lessons done in one sitting, unless the art project involves paint that needs to dry or I’m doing some work with them one on one, in which case I pull them individually and let them play in the meantime. In any case, it’s not like they’re going to get random play breaks between lessons when they start school.

After we did our work, I broke them up into centers like I’d been planning to do and it worked out really well for being their first time encountering that kind of setup. It was hard for them to deal with not being able to just get up and leave their center when they didn’t want to be there anymore, but I expected that since this group has not been exposed to centers and doesn’t even have the room arranged into proper centers like it should be for preschool. It’s just going to take a lot of repetition of rules before we go into the centers and a lot of redirecting and reminding once we start them. All in all, I consider it a success because I didn’t have to get on to them for roughhousing or tearing up the room even once. I didn’t assign centers this first time, I gave them four choices and didn’t call on them until they were listening and quiet. Next time I will assign since this is my preference; you can make sure to separate kids who don’t get along and you can also ensure that they don’t constantly go back to the same center and toys over and over again. I do allow them to rotate or trade between centers after a certain amount of time has gone by.

I was there until 5:45 today, but the last 15 minutes consisted of waiting for my boss to tally up my hours and write out my paycheck so I call it a worthwhile delay. LOL. Oh, also my boss gave me my birthday off even though it’s a long day and should’ve been mine to cover since I’m the full time teacher. I was just asking her if I would be working that day, since my parents are driving in the day before and planning to spend my birthday with me and I didn’t want them to come out for nothing. So yay, I don’t have to work 6:30-6:00 on my birthday… this alone is an amazing present. Hahaha. That, and my free Starbucks drink that they send me a coupon for on my birthday every year… yum.

By the time I got home I was totally wiped out, but had to walk the dog already since I’d gotten home so late. And boy, did Bubba need to be walked… I opened the door to him leaping six feet in the air and trying to tackle me with his boundless energy/enthusiasm. He’s always like, “OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE NEVER COMING BACK WHERE DID YOU GO I MISSED YOU WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME OMG IT’S YOU I KNOW YOU I REALLY DO OMG YAY!!!” when I come home from a long day at work. Well, he’s like that all the other times too, but jumps only 5 feet in the air instead of 6.

Anyway, I will leave you with this Preschool Moment of the Week:

Michael: (is using a yellow dump truck as a “wheelchair”)

Me: What’s going on there, Michael? Is that a wheelchair??

Michael: Yep.

Me: Well why are you in a wheelchair?

Michael: (sighs) It’s a long story.

Hahahahahaha

Yup, totally went to Sonic for lunch~ Only there would you find a sign that says Carhop Crossing! Funny story, I never actually knew that carhops roller skated to your car. I don’t think I ever really paid any attention until I saw a Sonic commercial on TV that showed them delivering orders on skates. Now I always notice whether or not they’re wearing them when they bring my food over… somehow I feel like I have to tip them more if they skated rather than walked… hahaha.

I was off again today — it’s been nice having every other day off, especially since my work days have been long. On the plus side, tomorrow is Friday and I get a three day weekend! I plan to devote this three day weekend to writing… hopefully that ends up being as productive as I would like. I also need to finish June lesson plans and probably quit putting off groceries. Ugh, what a bummer. David and I have made an art out of avoiding groceries like the plague.

Speaking of David, he sent me a text message earlier with a picture that made me crack up and nearly fall out of my chair. You see, last year we lost our GPS while on our wedding trip to San Antonio. We came back from hiking through Natural Bridge Caverns and thought, when we got back to our hotel, that we’d stuffed the GPS into his backpack at some point. Well, later on that day when we actually needed the GPS, we couldn’t find it at all. We looked EVERYWHERE (or at least, we felt like we did…haha). Under the bed, in all the dresser drawers, even in the bathroom, just on the off chance it might have gotten misplaced. In the end, we were never able to find it. We had all kinds of theories as to where it might have gone — maybe it fell out of the backpack while we were on our underground cave adventure and we didn’t notice, or maybe it was just rolling around in the car and we’d find it eventually. But no, we got back to Wichita Falls using David’s GPS app on his phone and had to admit that our GPS was probably gone for good. Which sucked incredibly later on because those things are actually pretty useful… and I’ve wished for one dozens of times while living here in Las Vegas because we aren’t familiar with the area and my phone GPS likes to take me down the most bizarre routes ever.

Anyway, so he sent me this picture, and it was of our long lost GPS. HAHAHA. He was like, LOOK WHAT I FOUND. I texted back a bunch of question marks. Where was it?? Well, it was in his freaking backpack where we always thought we’d stashed it T-T Somehow it got wedged in there and was overlooked. For over a year. The thing is, I have a feeling we threw away all the cords and stuff for it when we figured it was lost… so now we STILL can’t use it. (This is why I don’t like throwing things away… YOU NEVER KNOW GUYS. YOU NEVER KNOW. *control freak dance*)

My yearning for a real GPS unit has increased lately since I’m driving to San Diego for a week in June and will probably really need one while I’m there. Even though I lived in San Diego for years, I was never the one driving and this will actually be my first time going there with my own car. Needless to say, a GPS would be ideal. We’re thinking of getting me one before I go; David doesn’t even need one cause his fancy schmancy sports car has one built into its own console with a screen and everything. As for me, I’m still driving Ye Olde 2003 Chevy Tracker and it doesn’t have such technological gizmos. Although we are planning to buy me a new car within a year or so, I highly doubt that I’ll be able to get over my cheapo nature and pay more money for a car with a GPS built in. So, it isn’t like I wouldn’t use it. Now I just have to convince myself to shell out the cash for it. Hahaha. *clings to debit card and cries*

Okay, getting up at 5am tomorrow so off I go. I’m going to read for a bit and see if I get any sleepier. Doubtful, but worth a try. Let’s see how tomorrow goes…

My class planted “beanstalks” the first week of May, since we were reading Jack and the Beanstalk. I had no idea Lima beans grew so fast and so tall! Needless to say, the kids are delighted with their plants; they’d probably have me water them 10 billion times a day and we’ve had a few close calls with eager hands grabbing for a pot to take a closer look. I’ll be sending these home with them next week. In the meantime, I still have an excuse to use that sinfully adorable bright yellow ducky watering can… *shuffles away*

Warning: the rest of this post makes mention of very gross things. If you’ve got a weak stomach, come back tomorrow. Otherwise, carry on valiant reader! And don’t say I didn’t give you ample warning!

So, today I got to go home at 4 instead of 6. I think my boss probably took pity on me because I got peed on. Hahahahahahahahaha. <— This is hysterical laughter, not jovial laughter, for those of you who are less attuned to the subtle and sarcastic. To be completely fair, it was one of my youngest and she had just gotten a scratch on her elbow. She was extremely unhappy and in no state to be thinking about running to the potty in time. She’s only 2, but she’s already potty trained, so really she was just as horrified as I was. I had her in my lap to put a band-aid on her elbow and when I set her down we both discovered the terrible truth… LOL. I feel that it was maybe a little bit more terrible for me because I didn’t have spare clothes to change into like she did. Thankfully, my boss loaned me a pair of her “pre-preggo” pants (she cracks me up) and I was saved from spending all day in a state of utter grossness. The pants were a bit loose, but a thousand times better than having a giant pee patch on my leg. In direct contact with my skin. All. Day.

I know, everyone go puke now. I wouldn’t blame you. Alas, thus is the nature of my profession. At least it wasn’t strategic peeing where she MEANT to do it just to spite me. Make sure you remember that precise thought if you ever get peed on by a toddler. When I taught first grade, I actually had a little girl who used strategic peeing when she wanted her mom to pick her up early from school. Talk about too smart for her own good… she’d have an accident on purpose so she’d have to get sent to the nurse, who would then have to call her mom, who would then come up to school and rebuke her before taking her home. One time she was escorted out of the classroom by my mentor teacher for throwing a folder at me in a fit of rage, and we went out into the hall to walk her to the principal’s office only to find that she had peed on herself in a bid to escape. Say it with me now: OH EM GEE. (Did I mention the hall was down a slope so that allll the pee ran down to the kindergarten rooms? Seriously. Unbelievable.) What’s that? Small children are diabolical beings? Of course, why do you think I prefer fourth grade and up!?! At least when they start hitting those tween years they have some notion of embarrassment. Peer pressure alone would make you wary of using bladder pressure to get your way. I’d rather have sarcasm and eye-rollage than strategic peeing.

If you’re faint of heart, just don’t have children. There are probably quite a few people out there who wouldn’t look twice at me if they were asked to make a list of comparatively courageous people, but I’ve become convinced that Pottermore sorted me into Gryffindor for my valor in the face of childhood’s grossest aspects. (cue nerd music) Sure, I may run away screaming and crying from bugs of any shape and size. I’ve got a big brave husband who deals with those for me. But I’ll tell you one thing: David would run away screaming and crying from dirty diapers, snotty noses, vomit, and bodily fluids/excrement of any kind. That’s where I would probably have to step in and be the brave one. When you’ve worked with kids as much as I have, there is literally not much body-related grossness left to deal with. These things rarely ever bother me anymore. Even today, if I’d had to wear toddler pee all day, I would’ve gritted my teeth and moved on. In fact, before my boss offered to loan me a replacement, I had basically gone to the bathroom and rinsed out one leg of my pants, fully prepared to have one completely sodden leg for the rest of the afternoon. (I figured water was better than pee, even it was still uncomfortably wet. Sometimes one must think, “What would Bear Grylls do?” and continue one’s misadventure.) I could regale you with tales of rivers of mucus and drive-by vomiting, but this post is already becoming extremely graphic as it is. Hahaha.

But no bugs. Gross bodily excretions, fine. But NO bugs. *shudders*

Also, I draw the line at childbirth. I could care less about blood, that I’m not squeamish about at all. However, while I will watch horror movies with gusto and often end up laughing while doing so, I refuse to watch those TLC shows depicting women giving birth. My cousin posted pictures of her baby’s birth on Facebook (SO GROSS, SORRY) and the sight of the umbilical cord being cut made me seriously nauseous. Don’t worry, I’ve already warned David that I will definitely need to be knocked out and unconscious in order to ever give birth to any of our children because otherwise I might go insane during the process. Oh, and on a lesser scale, during that Red Cross class I took a while ago we had to study a diagram describing how to handle an emergency situation involving organs coming out of someone’s body and I had to look away. Um, eew. If you’re horribly injured and can’t keep your intestines inside yourself, please don’t call me. I will hyperventilate and forget everything I learned in my First Aid class within 2 seconds. (At least I’m honest?)

As if Nevada didn’t have enough rock and gravel, we encountered a landslide of it on our walk this evening, waiting to be spread by the landscapers. Bubba seemed just as puzzled as I was. Then he went to go pee on the rock pile, as though accepting its existence and moving on with life.

As a result of going to bed to so early last night, I woke up at 6:30am. That was definitely a surreal experience. I do not naturally get up at such ungodly hours of the morning. I decided to stay in bed and focus on the arduous task of breathing through my congested nose. I now have a cold in addition to my already raging allergies. Thankfully, it’s not a bad cold. It just further compounds my misery because I was stuffed up and itchy-eyed to begin with, and didn’t need any help in that department. LOL.

I ran errands in the morning — one must have sundries such as Sunny D and blueberry Eggo waffles, after all — before heading home and realizing that I had a Bath & Body Works coupon that was about to expire. So off I went again to the store around the corner to use it, as is my right as a consumer (and lotion enthusiast). My coupon was for one free Signature Collection item with a $10 purchase, but they had the Buy 3, get 2 Free deal going on so I ended up with four body creams at about $10 each, along with a free body cream and two free bubble baths thanks to the deal and my coupon combined. Should’ve been about $80, but I only paid $40. Also, I now have no need to go there for another year or so. This is an insane amount of lotion. Hahahahaha. But of course they gave me another damn coupon when I left… WHEN WILL THIS DESTRUCTIVE CYCLE BE BROKEN. You’d think my tenure as an employee of Bath & Body Works during my college years would’ve cured me of this, but no. While I worked there, I suffered the same malady as all of my other co-workers: we always ended up spending our paychecks on the merchandise. That place is like a freaking opium den T-T

After that, I hauled my loot back home and then sat down to do some writing. I revised my prologue chapter today, which horrifying enough still took me for e ver even though I was essentially just rewriting it. This does not bode well. LOL. Personally though, I’m happy with the result and I think it’s an improvement on the original prologue. I will possibly share this and the first chapter here or on my future writing blog, which I plan to set up when the book is in the final stages of editing and about to actually be made available for purchase. In other words, not for a long while yet. Hahaha. I do hope it will be before the end of this year, though. I did, after all, explicitly state that in my amended 2012 New Year’s resolution.

The highlight of my day was FINALLY watching The King’s Speech, which was an amazing movie. I definitely loved it. All the actors were incredible. Even as an amateur enthusiast of the British royal family, I didn’t know much about Queen Elizabeth II’s father aside from the controversy surrounding his brother’s abdication in favor of marriage to Wallis Simpson. It was truly moving to watch him struggle with his speech impediment and eventually begin to overcome it, as well as his own misgivings about being king. Also, I extremely enjoyed Geoffrey Rush as Lionel Logue and loved Helena Bonham Carter as Queen Elizabeth. After hearing so many good things about the film, I was glad that it lived up to expectations. Can you tell that I’m on a British royalty binge? I’m getting geared up for the Diamond Jubilee. Not kidding, I very nerdily follow the British monarchy on Twitter so I pretty much always know what’s going on across the pond. For example, today the Queen awarded a ribbon to a special horse on his retirement day after being a royal horse for 10 years. This was after she met with students in the morning during a stop on her Diamond Jubilee tour with her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh. I can’t believe how busy she always is. And she’s 86 years old! The Duke is 95! In a little over three years, she will have surpassed Queen Victoria as England’s longest reigning monarch. (Which makes Prince Charles the longest serving heir apparent in British history, by the way. Poor guy.) Actually, pretty much all of the royals are extremely busy all the time. Their schedules are intense. Each of them has like 20 billion patronages and charities to keep up with, not to mention this year the Queen’s children and grandchildren are all jetting to various places in the Commonwealth to represent her and kick off Jubilee celebrations. If you haven’t seen the pictures of Prince Harry dancing in the street during visits to Brazil and the Caribbean, you are totally missing out.

Anyway, done spouting random monarchy trivia at everyone now~ Time to go to bed because tomorrow is another waking-up-at-wretched-5am day. And I have 7 of our 8 kids coming in, including the two youngest, so we’ll see how it goes. I plan to limit their free play because they tend to roughhouse and generally drive me insane when allowed to do that for very long. Going to assign them to centers instead, even though for some reason the teachers before me never implemented these. Centers are an awesome idea for preschool and I’ve been meaning to get some set up. You can separate the ones that tend to squabble with one another and prevent mass chaos by designating which toys they play with. Oh, and we’re going to play outside ALL MORNING. Nothing better than the great outdoors for expending all that extra energy they’ve got.

This Three Bears art project we did today pretty much turned out unbearably cute. I can’t stand it. I was this close to cutting out another set of bears and doing the art project myself… hahaha. (We just read Goldilocks and the Three Bears last week.)

I’ve been trying to stay awake, but it’s an uphill battle. Around 1:30, after I’d eaten my lunch, I sat down on the couch in the office and totally started to fall victim to the naptime lullaby music. Had to make myself get up and move around. I only had three kids left by then, since my boss took her two boys in at lunch and one of our full-timers has transitioned to part-time for the remainder of the summer. I wasn’t about to complain because it was definitely one of those Mondays. I’d gotten up at 5am, filled up my water cup with ice, and then of course left it sitting on the coffee table on my way out. Then at lunch I realized I’d also forgotten to pack a fork to eat with… let’s just say it was fairly comical to eat with only a plastic butter knife. LOL. (Possible, but not graceful…) I got to work at 6:15am and no one dropped off kids until 7am so I admittedly spent some time being grouchy about the extra half hour I could’ve slept. Anyway, it was nice to be down to just three kids, even if all three were staying until 5 or 6. I needed a peaceful Monday.

Stayed until 5:30, got home around 6, and IMMEDIATELY took the dog out for his evening walk. I’ve vowed never to take him out after dark EVER AGAIN after my experience last night. All the little baby crickets come out to play once the sun goes down and it isn’t so hot. BAD IDEA. BAD BAD BAD IDEA. It was 20 minutes of abject terror. I didn’t think there would be such a profusion of bugs here, considering it’s the desert, but apparently the crickets have followed me from Texas. *cries* So, today I resolved to take Bubba out while it was still sweltering outside around 6:30pm. Another upside of this plan, in addition to the lack of crickets, was that no one else seemed to be walking their dog. That was a first. Usually I can’t avoid running into at least 3 or 4 other people with dogs when I take him out. I think I got lucky.

It’s REALLY nice to be off tomorrow. Especially because by the time I’d gotten home, my throat had started hurting and that usually means I’m getting sick. Which wouldn’t be a surprise at all, considering the sheer amount of times I get sneezed/coughed/snotted on at work. I admonish them to cover their mouths and remind them all the time that the Kleenex is there for a reason (and wash hands plus practically bathe in hand sanitizer all day), but I don’t think their parents have placed much emphasis on this. It boggles the mind — I would want my kids to cover their mouths, and I would teach them to do that. It seems really basic to me, but once again, the world proves me wrong. LOL. So yeah, hopefully I don’t wake up with some kind of horrible preschool virus tomorrow… it’s most likely just going to be a bad cold. In that case, I won’t even be able to tell it apart from my everlasting allergy symptoms. Those never go away. I literally wake up congested and sneezing EVERY MORNING. If I’m not feeling too bad tomorrow, I’ll probably go out to replenish my depleted bottle of Allegra. I neeeeeed pills please T-T

Okay, I think I’m about to nod off while typing. Since I don’t want the keyboard of my laptop imprinted on my face when I wake up, I think I’ll put it away now and just give up trying to stay awake. It’s normal to go to bed at 9pm, right?? I mean, for people who aren’t 7 years old…? Hahahaha. WHATEVER I’M TIRED OKAY. I GOT UP AT 5 FREAKING AM. SO GOOD NIGHT.

I’m getting old so in addition to my own mother and mother-in-law this year, I had a few friends who got their first ever Mother’s Day greetings as well. One particularly cheeky friend wished me a “Happy Future Mother’s Day” and it made me laugh. Ha! Not on your life! Change that to “Happy Way Way Way in the Future Mother’s Day” and it becomes more accurate. LOL. We are sooooo not ready to have kids right now. In fact, I have eight kids at work, and they are more than enough to satisfy my need to interact with children. I do like to gush over the baby stuff at Target though.

Here’s a snapshot of my mom and I in front of Cinderella’s castle at Disney World when I was six years old! We drove allll the way from Norfolk, VA to Orlando, FL for my first ever Disney vacation. I had such a good time that I still remember bits and pieces of it with surprising clarity, considering how long ago it was. My dad bought me a pair of Minnie Mouse ears and a matching Minnie Mouse t-shirt that I promptly put on the minute we got out of the gift shop, haha. My parents took me traveling every chance they got, and there were many chances since dad was in the Navy. We never took planes though — we always drove. This was back in the day when all we had was my dad’s truck with a camper shell over the back, which was where I lived when we were traveling.

In my mom’s card this year, I listed some things I’d learned from her. One of these things was how to properly travel. First of all, you ALWAYS bring snacks and drinks. TONS. If you can, bring a rice cooker too. Don’t deny your inevitable longing for rice. (RICE IS YOUR HERITAGE.) Next, when you get to the hotel, the very first thing you do after setting your bags down is to find the ice machine. This is important. I still do this when I travel now — you NEED to know where that ice machine is. You’ll be sorry later if you didn’t seek it out immediately upon arrival. LOL. Here are some more lessons I learned from my mom:

• The garbage can goes under the kitchen sink. This is not negotiable, unless there is simply no room below the sink. In that case, you put the garbage can under the next available counter. My mom had an aversion for garbage being out in the open in her kitchen where she cooked our meals. Also, having it under the sink is pretty convenient. When I moved out, I put my own garbage can under the sink too. Didn’t even have to think twice! Man, that’s some good training.
• In any store, go straight to the clearance racks. Why waste time on what isn’t on sale? Eventually, it will filter into the clearance section too. Bide your time and be patient.
• After sweeping, pick up what you can’t get with the dust pan by using a damp paper towel and wiping it off the floor.
• You can never have too many rice paddles. (Confirmed: I only had 2, and then my sister melted my other one in the oven. LONG STORY. Suffice it to say that I found myself wishing I had invested in more than 2. LOL.)
• You should always send at least a greeting card for someone’s birthday, even if you can’t send them a present. My mom taught me the power and importance of greeting cards from a very young age. And she always wrote the date in the top right corner; if it was a birthday, she wrote the birthday and the year it was being sent. This is so when you look back later, you know you got that card on your 18th birthday and not your 8th.
• Pictures belong in picture frames. My mom never had a shortage of picture frames in the house, and this has passed on to me. She framed up tons of our pictures and hung them on walls, put them out on the coffee table, set them out on bookshelves. You’ve captured your memories, now enjoy them.
• We open our gifts on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. The 3 wise men brought their gifts on Christmas Eve, so by golly we’re going to open ours then too. Jesus did it, why can’t we?? Hahaha

Mothers teach their daughters resilience. They teach us how to be strong in a world that won’t always expect us to be, and in situations that might make us feel weak.

When I started struggling with math (oh subtraction, why do you exist?!), she made me PAGES and PAGES of handwritten subtraction worksheets that I had to do after dinner with the rest of my homework. Did I hate her guts for it? Omg yes. Was it good for me? Also omg yes. (Did it make me like subtraction? Omg no.)

In kindergarten, a little girl pinched me during naptime and my mom came to school to pick a fight with her because she knew I never would. She chides me all the time for what a timid kid I was — “All they had to do was look at you and you would start crying!” But I credit her with simultaneously pushing me out of my comfort zone and being willing to defend me when things went wrong. She always seems to know the right time to push me and the right time to get out in front of me and go all Jungle Queen on everyone. (My inner Jungle Princess comes from her side of the family.)

When my high school boyfriend broke up with me (out of the blue, after 2 years of dating) in the driveway outside my house, my dad hugged me and told me not to cry for morons; my mom wanted to know if that asshole was still standing in the driveway so she could run him off our property. She also wondered out loud why she didn’t have a shotgun at a time like this. (This is the future me. Watch and take note. Hahahaha)

And even though, as a teenager, I thought my mom and I were nothing alike… the benefit of years passing is that I’ve realized it’s totally untrue. I am so much like her, it’s hilarious. We have the same look on our faces when we’re concentrating. My handwriting becomes more and more like hers all the time, unintentionally. Every day, I’m glad she pinched me every time I pronounced a word wrong when I was learning how to read. Seriously, where did you think I got my control freak approach to reading, writing, and spelling from?? That was totally from mom. But really, one of the best things she’s ever done for me was encourage me to teach. She even arranged for me to have pupils. I had a steady stream of kids to tutor every summer, starting with my sister when she was 3 years old. My mom always called it “playing school” but she knew how important it was, and that I had a knack for it. She made sure I had every opportunity to grow my ability.

So, I hope you hugged your mom today, or gave her a call if she lives far away. Think about the funny/practical/quirky things she has taught you, and celebrate them :) #1 Thing I still need to learn from my mom: how to capture the exact moment when your kid is blowing out their birthday candles and their cheeks are all puffed up right before they make their first go at it. She manages to get this shot EVERY SINGLE TIME. I look ridiculous in like 90% of my birthday cake pictures because of it. I reeeaallllyyy want to inflict this on my future children…

One of the nice things about writing is that you can do it in your pajamas. Also, you don’t have to go anywhere. Oh, and you can get up to refill your drink whenever you want.

However, one of the hardest things about writing is that not every day is going to be a good day. I’m getting into the last two chapters of book one, and I’m really feeling the burn. Yes, I know that it can be rewritten and I know that revising/editing is going to probably tear it all up anyway. But still, I’m stubbornly committed to getting it done right the first time around. Or, as “right” as it can be. Considering how massive the changes already are for the first half I’ve written, I expect the second half will end up the same way. Even so, I want to make sure it’s at its best. I persist in hoping that this will make the revising process a little easier on me.

But there’s a lot that I need to get right, especially now that the book is ending. As David put it, “It has to be a climax, one of the best parts of the book. Something decisive enough that the book stands on its own. And it has to keep people interested enough to continue on to the second book.” In other words, NO PRESSURE PAOLA. LOL.

He’s totally right, and it’s a big reason why the home stretch is proving to be so difficult for me. Not only are there loose ends that need to be wrapped up, there are certain key secrets that need revealing and more secrets to introduce, to entice you into picking up the second book in the series. I’m not ending on a cliffhanger, but I’m trying to set it up so that you can’t possibly just put this book down and say, okay, I’m content with never knowing what happens next. I want you to care about my characters. I want you to care enough about them that you see them through all the way to book three, and I don’t want this because I want your money. I just want you to know their story, and maybe even like it as much as I do. (Hahahaha)

So yeah. Rough day for me in the writing department. I never felt like the latest chapter I finished was truly finished, so my inner control freak sent me running back to it today to work on it until I finally considered it done.  Which took me all day, of course. Because I am the slowest writer on earth. (Apart from maybe Patrick Rothfuss who takes YEARS between books… don’t get me started on him right now because I’m reading book 2 in his series and finding myself to be bitterly disappointed…) I eventually moved on to the next chapter, one of my final two, but got stuck on an action scene immediately. Never made it off page one. I hate action scenes, which is probably weird. Even weirder, I admit that I don’t ever really read them in other people’s books. I skim over those parts because I’m more interested in finding out who won the fight than what happened in between. I get that a lot of people loooove action bits but I personally prefer dialogue. Anyway, I also loathe writing action in my stories and avoid doing so whenever I can. This is bad, and it’s one of the things I’m fixing about part 1 of the book so far. I know I need more of it in there, because not everyone reads like me. Rather, not everyone is weird and skips over action scenes like me. LOL.

And to clarify, it’s not that my story lacks action. It’s just not detailed action, where I enumerate every blow to the head and every parry with a sword. This is the stuff that bores the living daylights out of me. I super don’t care that the hero sidestepped to the right and then did so and so with his sword to the so and so person’s blah blah. (I already skipped over that whole sentence in my mind as I was writing it… wow.) But as I’ve mentioned, I am aware that others DO read that stuff. And I know it’s an important element of any story, so I’m working on it. Crying and complaining every step of the way, but I’m working on it.

As I posted on Twitter, I am seriously tempted to replace all my action scenes with dance battles a la Justin Bieber. (If you actually click that link, fast forward to 1:45 to see how a dance battle is properly executed. This is fundamental knowledge that you need in life.)

But I won’t do that, because I know I need action scenes even if I don’t like reading or writing them. So I’m sucking it up, but in a really whiny and depressed way. I get a lot of help from David, not that this diminishes my whining.

BTW, I finally made that cheesecake this morning~ I can’t eat it until tomorrow because it has to chill in the fridge for a while, but the fact that it exists makes me feel better about my lackluster writing experience today. That, and the prospect of tomorrow’s new Target ad. What wonders will be on sale this week?? Yeah, these are the kind of things that put joy in my life: cheesecake and Target. And how Justin Bieber’s hair always looks like it’s been blown forward by an intense wind. Though that last one falls more under the Mysteries of Life category. Hahaha.

This little girl rolled in today wearing the most fantastically awesome purple tutu with spangles. Oh, AND a pair of gold shoes. What the heck, why am I not this awesome???

A much quieter day today, but then again I only had five of them. I was in no mood to make them do anything more strenuous than finishing their Mother’s Day cards… I think I burned myself out yesterday. We played outside practically all morning, while it wasn’t horribly hot yet. Before I knew it, it was already lunch time and then naps were underway. Mercifully, this day decided to go a lot faster. Everyone went to sleep, I ate my lunch in peace, and I got through half a book before they started waking up. Not bad. I went home a little after 4:00pm and started my three day weekend. SUPER YAY. I love being off on Fridays. The only thing comparable is being off on Mondays, because no one really likes to be obligated to do anything on Mondays.

So, first order of business: I took a mega-nap and didn’t wake up until 8pm. I’m going to chalk that up to all the lost sleep I suffered from waking up at 5am multiple times this week. Then I walked the dog, made some ramen, and popped in my Amelie DVD. Um, amazing. (I just love that movie.) Perhaps I’ll do Breakfast at Tiffany’s next. But I’d have to go buy a fancy wine glass to drink milk from like Audrey Hepburn or it just wouldn’t be an authentic experience… haha.

This is a rough estimate, and I can’t really promise that it’s the factual truth, but I should only have two more chapters left to write in my rough draft of this book. That’s right, I’m actually going to end something instead of just beginning it and then leaving it behind. It’s a little bit terrifying. Hahahaha. However, even after finishing these final chapters, I have the entire rough draft to revise… so I’m not done yet by any means. After all, I did decide about halfway through this novel that I wanted to switch from first person to third person point of view, which means I have to go back through the beginning chapters I wrote and fix them. I don’t regret making the switch at all because I think it turned out to be an improvement. It’s helpful to have written almost all of it because now I can look back and point out things I want to change, things that I can rewrite and make better, and things I don’t want anymore. I expect to cut about 10 chapters, largely because my earlier chapters were a lot shorter than the later ones ended up being. Example, Chapter 1 was a grant total of like 5 pages versus my longest chapter (I think maybe it was Ch30) that ended up being 16 pages. HUGE difference. So yeah, some parts are getting combined while others are getting reworked completely. I’m confident that the changes are a good idea. I have a better perspective now than I did when I was still writing those early chapters and making shit up as I went. Hahahaha.

Okay, I can tell my allergy medicine is wearing off because I suddenly can’t breathe. LOL. Away I go to pop some pills. I’ll probably climb into bed and read for another hour before going to sleep. Bubba’s making loud, exasperated sighing noises because he can’t figure out why I’m still awake… hahahaha.

OMG LONGEST DAY EVER. I’ve said this before but today has now officially beaten the Longest Day Ever record. It was an absolute madhouse.

I had seven kids, which is probably the most I’ve had in one day so far what with how slow it’s been. It isn’t so much the number of children though — I have no problem with having 7 of them. That’s not even a very big number for me because I’m accustomed to having 15-20 in my class. However, it was an unusual day and not in keeping with our routine, since the shade structure was still being built over the playground and we couldn’t go out there. Anytime you have small children cooped up in a classroom without any kind of outlet for their need to run, scream, ride bikes, and get sand all over themselves… it’s not going to be pretty.

I’m totally worn out and so grateful I only have one more day of work left this week. I’m even more grateful that it’s a regular 8-4 day and not a long one. I think I’ll just avoid thinking about next week’s three long days and pretend it’s not really happening… LOL. My boss and I just kept looking at each other off and on during the day when she was at the schoolhouse and marveling at how seven children suddenly became seven raging bundles of manic energy. She let me go home an hour early, I think out of pure pity. I must have looked extremely disheveled and possibly on the brink of insanity.

Here’s a rundown of my day, just to frighten you away from ever having kids (or teaching them). Please note that this is in no way a complete description of my day… just the highlights. If I enumerated every single crazy thing that happened, I would be forced to relive those events and consequently decide to call in sick tomorrow. LOL. My days really aren’t usually this demented, btw. Normally I’m not herding a pack of total heathens from Point A to Point B, but I think this week the planetary alignment is causing them to go into Circus Mode.

5:00AM – My alarm goes off. I resist the urge to throw my phone at the wall. Because I am a grown up.

5:20AM – Bubba and I are out the door for his morning walk. It’s still dark outside. Shoot me now, please.

6:00AM – I pile all my various tote bags and junk into the car and head to work.

6:45AM – The three kids who are staying until 6pm all arrive at once. They immediately decide to fight over who gets to play with a set of bean bags that no one has noticed for the past week until now. ???

7:15AM – My boss drops off her two boys. The older one launches into a monologue about why he should have the bean bags and tries to organize everyone into a game. He’s the oldest and very bossy. Begin Talk #1 (out of like 40 total throughout the day omg) about why we don’t boss our friends around and why that would hurt our feelings if it happened to us.

7:30AM – I break out the Play-Doh. This is Diversionary Tactic 15B in my list of How To Keep Preschoolers Occupied For Long Periods of Time. I give my customary lecture on how Play-Doh smells like something we want to eat but is actually very very yucky. Everyone solemnly nods. “Yuck” faces are made.

8:30AM – Two nervous breakdowns have occurred over “so and so touching my Play Doh while I was at the potty.”

9:00AM – Circle time. We read “No David” for the 100000th time. My last and youngest kid (he just turned 2) arrives and goes right into his usual 10 minute crying jag as I valiantly continue reading to everyone over the sound of his wailing.

10:00AM – Someone goes to time out for swatting at his friends with a toy stethoscope.

10:30AM – OMG HOW IS IT ONLY 10:30. WHY ARE YOU ALL PILING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. WELL OF COURSE YOU GOT KICKED IN THE FACE, YOU’RE ALL PILING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER.

10:35AM – Everyone is herded to the table and made to put their heads down for 5 minutes. Because I need 5 minutes of no children screaming. Yoga breathing exercises are had by all. “Put your head down, Alice. We’re resting because we’re being wild,” someone whispers. Yes indeed. Now put your head down until this timer goes off and I’ve regained some semblance of sanity.

11:00AM – My boss walks in after her ER shift is canceled. She takes everyone outside to wear them out for thirty minutes while I get lunches set up and the wreckage/debris/shrapnel of the morning is cleared away. I contemplate drinking bleach and thus ending my career as a preschool teacher.

11:30AM – Lunch. Everyone is damp from playing in the sprinkler. One of the toddlers decides that the table is a buffet and starts taking food off other kids’ plates, thus causing general uproar.

12:00PM – All children in their beds. I park myself next to each one until they get bored and fall asleep. Some request back rubs. I wonder why I ever bothered growing up — I could be taking a nap and getting my back rubbed right now.

12:30PM – I eat my lunch. Then I spend the next 45 minutes assembling Mother’s Day crafts that we started that morning, followed by 15 minutes of cutting out bear-shaped paper chains for tomorrow.

1:30PM – Two kids are awake. WHY.

2:00PM – Now we’re all awake. WHY.

2:30PM – “He took my blocks but I’m not done yet.” “Well you need to use your words and tell him how you feel.” “STOP I DON’T LIKE THAT I WANT MY BLOCKS BACK.” (Repeat this conversation about 26 times over thirty minutes)

3:00PM – Someone is in time out for randomly poking someone else in the eye. ???

4:00PM – Someone is in time out for headbutting another child in order to get past him and use the slide. ????????

4:15PM – I tell a mom her child was in time out multiple times during the day. He yells at her, tries to run away down the street, and the other parents look on in shock.

5:00PM – I get sent home an hour early. (My boss is really nice.) I strive to walk out sedately instead of turning cartwheels out the door in my extreme glee. HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD.

6:15PM – Boss texts me: “DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! LONGEST DAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!”