This morning, my internal clock decided to wake me up at 7:30am. 7:30AM. On a SATURDAY. My response to this was to roll over and go the hell back to sleep. Seriously?? 7:30am?? You can suck it, internal clock. When I woke up again it was about 9:00, which was a lot better than getting up at the crack of dawn for absolutely no reason whatsoever. I am not that far along into grown-up-ness that I would do this voluntarily.

Allow me to enumerate for you the things I occupied myself with today: I played Sims 3, scribbled novel notes, read books, scribbled some more novel notes, did some actual writing of said novel, popped a frozen pizza into the oven for dinner, and watched The Young Victoria again. (Because I can.) While there are a lot of things I could get done over the weekend — things like hateful chores or even more hateful laundry — I feel like at least one of those days should be devoted to whatever I feel like doing. As much as possible, I try to relax and not think about all the stuff I could be getting done on my to-do list. I tend to save those things for Sunday when I’m trying to get my brain back into workday gear anyway. It’s not a crime to actually enjoy yourself on the weekend and be as lazy and useless as you want to be. At least, not in my book.

I have to work two long days this week, Monday and Wednesday, which sounds bad but isn’t nearly as heinous as the THREE long days I’m scheduled for next week. Since I’m scheduled for Friday and the following Monday after that as well, I won’t be getting a three-day weekend then. I’m hoping my boss will give me Tuesday and Thursday off that week to compensate for the three long days, but she seems loath to give the part-time person more than eight hours a week, so I’m not sure what will happen. Blah. I enjoy my job (most of the time) but it’s imperative to have a break from it and recharge after spending all week there. I feel mentally and physically worn out by the time I’ve worked four straight days. Younger grades are a lot more high maintenance than older grades. While the kids are unbelievably cute (certainly a lot cuter than some of their parents, who occasionally employ parenting styles I struggle to comprehend), I still feel that I belong in at least 3rd grade or higher. This isn’t to say I’d want to stray into the angst-ridden territory of middle school and above, but I like the independence in the older elementary grades. Oh, and I like having long discussions with them about topics like Justin Bieber and the Percy Jackson series. My personality is much more suited to that age group, and I hope someday I end up there. I can’t deny that it’s fun to read Where the Wild Things Are three times a day, though. In preschool, reading the same book over and over again is not just acceptable, it’s also expected of you. They NEVER get tired of Max and the wild rumpus. Neither do I.

Anyway, I’m going to cut this short and return to the novel writing. Maybe I can cajole another page out of my brain before bedtime…

You’ll be very impressed with how late I slept in today. That’s right, I didn’t get up until 8:00am! Seriously, how pathetic is it when you consider 8am to be “sleeping in?” There was a (not so distant) day and age when I would’ve scoffed at the clock and went back to sleep for another four hours, but not anymore. I was wide awake, Bubba was wide awake, and it honestly felt overly luxurious just to have slept an extra two hours. Thus, the day began.

Being a grown up is ridiculous.

Actually, I’m fairly certain that the main reason why I woke up so early was because I wanted to get away from a particularly vivid nightmare in which a mercenary police force showed up at my door to evict me and refused to let me bring any of my belongings. And then –  horror upon horrors — they proceeded to BURN ALL MY BOOKS. OH MY GOD. My recollection of this disconcerting dream has faded by now, since dreams are so hard to hold on to anyway, but wtf…?! THEY WERE BURNING MY BOOKS. ALL of my books! In the dream I even tried to snatch one up under my arm and run away with it and one of the evil mercenary police took it away from me and FED IT TO THE FLAMES. So you can see, I had no choice but to wake up and end this excruciating torture. LOL.

Some people have nightmares about work. Others have nightmares about nuclear holocausts, poltergeists, and/or falling off cliffs. Not me, I have nightmares about people burning my book collection. *is a nerd*

I do really love having Fridays off, though. I spent about an hour getting some writing done at the library and then pumped gas before stopping at Sonic for lunch. I also stopped at the bank to deposit my paycheck, half of which promptly vanished when I paid my student loan bill for the month. Ugh. The rest of the day was spent reading library books — I finished In the Garden of Beasts: Love, Terror, and an American Family in Hitler’s Berlin by Erik Larson after chipping away at it for most of the month of April and having to re-request it from the library e-media catalog twice because I ran out of time, haha. It’s not a book you can read through in one sitting, not that it’s boring or anything. It’s a historical account of an American ambassador’s tenure in the Berlin embassy during the rise of Hitler and the Third Reich. I’d previously read and enjoyed Larson’s Devil in the White City, and recommend them both for anyone who wants to get into more nonfiction. Speaking of which, I’ve been reading a lot of history lately; I have two books on Queen Victoria, one of which I’m over halfway through. The other book is on the marriage of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert. Having become completely infatuated with The Young Victoria a few weeks ago, I of course betook myself to the library for more. *again, is a nerd*

My goal for the remainder of my weekend is to at least finish writing a chapter.  I only got through about three pages today, but I feel confident that I can muster up enough willpower to get through the rest before I head back to work on Monday. It’s probably going to take several barrels of iced coffee, but I’m determined to get through it. In fact, as soon as I post this I’m going to see if I can’t finagle another page out of my brain, which shamefully enough is already urging me to go to sleep. What the heck, it’s barely midnight! Must. Stop. Getting. Old.

I think I might make a cheesecake tomorrow. I plan to stay home all day anyway, and cheesecake will be a fabulous companion to my projected Downton Abbey binge tomorrow evening. Hahahahahaha. Oh, heart failure. I am so headed in your direction T-T

Ha! I got to go home early today, too! I know I should probably be concerned about the hours I lost, but I’m not. I have a lot of long days coming up and when they come, I’ll be wishing I had less anyway. LOL. So yeah, went home at 1:00 today and had a great afternoon replying to e-mails and reading library books. I am well suited to a life of sheer laziness and lethargy.

Our plants outside are doing well; the bigger planter had an assortment of flower seeds, which aren’t all faring the same. Because it was an assortment, we weren’t able to find out which flowers were hardy in the zone we live in and I’ve lost a few because it’s just too hot for them out here. Others appear to be thriving though, so it’s really been hit or miss there. You should definitely, definitely read the back of the seed packet before you purchase because that will tell you if you can expect the plant to even be able to survive where you live based on climate. Anyway, I’ve planted some columbine in the empty spaces where I’ve lost plants, and it’s starting to come up now. The smallest container pictured holds chives — these shot up within a week of being planted and they still seem to be growing just fine. And the other plant is actually a house plant my mom bought me while she was here. I don’t keep this one outdoors for very long because it wilts. It prefers to be inside where it’s shady and cool, but I set it out for an hour or two of sunshine every day if I can. I’ll have to transfer this one to a bigger pot pretty soon. I think our next purchases will be a bonsai tree and some succulents or cacti. If I do decide on more plants, I may switch to flowers that are already fully grown and just need to be transplanted, instead of growing from seeds.

Bubba’s already ripped up that toy I got him yesterday… geez. I came home to find a trail of stuffing leading to his kennel, where he was still trying to tear off its appendages. You can always tell which toys were cheaply made, because he’ll immediately destroy them. Don’t worry though because he’s massively spoiled and has a box full of toys as it is. I’m sure he won’t miss this one. What’s funny is that he has a clear preference for toys that squeak. Whenever he gets a new one, he pokes it with his nose trying to get a sound to come out. If it doesn’t squeak, the disappointment shows. Hahaha.

Tomorrow I have a few errands to run, but what I’m really aiming for is to get some writing accomplished. It’s been way too long since I did anything productive in that department. I’ll possibly head out to Bath & Body Works and use this coupon, then pump gas and have Sonic for lunch. (YAY SONIC!!) Oh, and sometime this weekend I fully plan to have some pizza and watch Downton Abbey. But not if I don’t make any writing progress, because I will then be unable to rise above my shame. I’m SO close to the end — not that this means anything, since I’d already decided to go back to the beginning and do a major overhaul. Ugh, I’ll finish this someday. No, I will finish it sometime this year. THIS YEAR. Not next year!!

Okay, I’m heading to bed. How much do you want to bet that I wake up at 5am anyway out of habit??? *cries*

Such is the nature of my job that I just spent the last fifteen minutes carving stamps out of potatoes. The humor of this does not escape me in any way. It did, however, bore the dog to tears. He watched me for all of 1 minute as I was doing this and then promptly disappeared into the spare bedroom to lay down on his blanket in the dark. Lying in the dark surrounded by chewed up toys was more interesting to him than my efforts to chisel shapes into potatoes with my kitchen knife. Thanks, Bubba. Way to support education.

If you must know why I was doing this, my class is reading The Enormous Potato tomorrow as part of our Larger Than Life week. We’ve already read Jack and the Beanstalk (and planted our own beanstalks), and today we did Paul Bunyan (with Babe the Blue Ox puppets), so now it’s time for gigantic vegetables. And then we’ll use potatoes as stamps because this is preschool and we are allowed to do that. Hahahahaha.

I actually only worked until 1pm today because my boss unexpectedly decided to work the rest of the shift for me once the kids were down for nap. So I went home, took a 30 minute break from the crushing heat outside, and steeled my nerves for a trip to the grocery store. It’s hilarious (and sad, and pathetic, and other things) that I try to wait so long before going to buy groceries. I just really loathe this. Also, I’m currently living alone so I buy absolute and total JUNK whenever I go. I’m super not inspired to cook when it’s just for myself. When David is home, my shopping cart actually looks like a grown-up is stocking their pantry. Left to my own devices, I go home with peanut butter, an 8-pack of strawberry yogurt, microwave meals to eat at work, chocolate marble pound cake from the bakery, Nutter Butters (um these are the best ever and also I have an addiction to peanut butter, as previously mentioned in other entries), frozen pizza, and a $1.00 squeaking raccoon toy for Bubba that I saw in the clearance section. In other words, useless. You’re allowed to laugh at me because I’m already laughing at me as I type this.

Tomorrow is my Friday, and I plan to fully appreciate all three days of my weekend before my long day on Monday. Did I mention that I have a Bath & Body Works coupon to use? It’s right around the corner from my house so I’ll drop by Friday morning after depositing my paycheck. I totally see how people can amass a giant collection of lotion, because I’m starting to get that way. LOL. In my defense, it’s so ridiculously dry here that I have to slather the stuff on constantly. I also wash my hands and use loads of hand sanitizer so my skin feels parched all the time.

Oh, and btw, I am really starting to feel like it’s way too hot to have long hair. UGH. I mean, I don’t necessarily want to chop it ALL off because goodness knows it took me forever just to get to the length I have now, but man. Seriously. I prefer to wear my hair down, I really do, but not when it’s plastering itself to the back of my neck because it’s scorching outside. AND inside, since the classroom doesn’t have centralized AC. I park myself in front of the cooling unit while the kids are napping and just read my book while simultaneously tying my masses of hair up in a ballerina bun just to get it AWAY FROM ME. Still — I’m not going to cut it short again, I like having long hair even though I complain about it. I’ve had short hair off and on throughout the years and it’s so much more maintenance to have a short haircut than to let it grow out. And guys, I’m lazy. Let’s all face it now and not live in a world of illusion anymore. I don’t wear makeup (it’s hysterical because I don’t even know how to use make-up; thanks dad for banning it along with nail polish and plucking my eyebrows), I don’t put things in my hair other than shampoo and conditioner, and I let it air dry rather than use heat nowadays because it’s so damaging in this already arid environment. It’s sort of minimalist but mostly LAZY. Hahaha.

Random: I have to say that I hope Maroon 5′s upcoming album can live up to the 536 times I’ve played their song “Just a Feeling” on my iPod. (This is an accurate number, I just synced my phone on iTunes and this is my #1 most played song. It has been for the past forever.) Here are the first five songs in my 25 Most Played list, with hearty explanations for why I have played them that many times:

#5: Not Over You by Gavin DeGraw

David’s new car came with a 3 month subscription to XM Radio, and we always listened to the same station, which also always played the same songs over and over again. This was one of them. Eventually, it wormed its way into my heart and I was playing it over and over again on my iPod. The video features Gavin pining for a ridiculously beautiful woman who waters plants in her underwear and who is also the actress playing Danaerys on Game of Thrones. This is what you need to know in order to love this song. Hahaha.

#4: Thinking of You by Katy Perry

Leave me alone, I love Katy Perry. I also love the version of this song that she sang for her MTV Unplugged performance. I think what I love about her is that she’s so much fun and doesn’t apologize for it. Sometimes her songs are totally on crack and I STILL love them. (The video for Last Friday Night never fails to brighten my day hahaha.)

#3: Wedding Dress by Taeyang

Hahaha. I admit it, I love Taeyang. I wish I could adopt him. He is freaking adorable. I used to play this song every Monday morning on my way to my dreary office job, because Mondays are dispassionate and depressing but this song is SO Korean Drama. You know, the good kind of depressing. I would wake up thinking, shit, I hate Mondays. But in the car on my 10 minute drive to work, that wouldn’t matter anymore because omg Taeyang was in love with this girl and she went and married some other TOTALLY NOT HOT guy instead of him!!!! If you haven’t seen the video, you need to see it now. NOW. It’s like a mini K-drama. And if you HAVE seen it, the engagement ring that Taeyang bought was WAY better than the one the other guy bought. I’m just saying.

#2: What if by Colbie Caillat

LOVE. THIS. SONG. I love all of her albums, and her latest was no exception. This song makes me smile and it doesn’t matter how hard my day was or how far away David is right now or how freaking early I had to get up that morning. If it had been released by the time I got married, this would have been in my ceremony somewhere. I don’t even care where or how it would have been used, but it would’ve been used. I think I love it so much because it reminds me of when I first met David and I would wonder, what if? (WHAT IF WE ENDED UP TOGETHER AND MADE STUPID JOKES ABOUT CAULKING GUNS FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES UNTIL WE WERE OLD??? is what that translates to. Ask me about that if you don’t know the caulking gun story. It is soooo one of the best illustrations of our relationship hahaha.)

#1: Just a Feeling by Maroon 5

This is a sad song. It’s weird that I would have played such a sad song 536 times, but it’s just my favorite Maroon 5 song ever. I wish I had an acoustic version. Basically, there is never an instance when I skip this song if it comes up on my iPod. It gets played in its entirety. There are songs and artists I’m not always in the mood for, but Just a Feeling is an exception. It’s a sobering recollection of a love that probably shouldn’t have happened. It’s over, but it’s not really, and probably never will be completely. There is so much story in this song that I find it hard not to make some up in my head as I listen. And I also like that Adam Levine is just plain singing in this song, no auto-tune and no pop embellishments. It’s seriously an underrated piece of their Hands All Over album. Literally, I will finish listening to it for the 536th time and then play it again. Hahaha. Ugh, I can’t even describe why, I just love it.

Okay, now I’ve wasted quite a lot of time enumerating the songs on my iPod and it’s time to go to bed. LOL. My blog entries are so random.

If you don’t think this duck watering can is the most adorable object you’ve ever seen, then you have to leave my blog right now. Seriously. Those who have no love for $1.00 bright yellow plastic duck watering cans have no place in my life. The end.

Yeesh, what a long day. I worked eleven and a half hours, and even with only two kids today, it’s the length of time that starts to wear on you and not the actual job itself. Children are simply not engineered to be at “school” from 7am until 6pm when they’re only three or four years old. They start to get fractious and distressed by the time 4:00 rolls around, let alone 6:00. I really feel bad for the ones that have to stay so late, and I know their parents aren’t comfortable with it either, but some people just don’t have jobs that can work within a schedule that fits having young children. Especially not in this town, where a lot of jobs are in the casinos, and the casinos pretty much never close. Ever. I’ve mentioned also that a lot of my kids have dads who work for the fire department, and they have 12 hour shifts that rotate. It’s definitely rough on everyone. Today, my full timer who was staying late basically looked at me and said, “I don’t WANT to have a long day today.” Dude, neither do I. Amen.

…That was shortly before I remarked that I wanted to go home too and he just gave me this totally blank stare. I knew exactly what the blank stare meant, too: “What do you MEAN, you want to go HOME? I thought you live HERE.” We then ended up in a conversation about why I have to go home too, the fact that I do not actually live in the schoolhouse (“But you have to be our teacher ALL THE TIME even when I’m not HERE.”), and what I do when I’m not waiting for children to look after. It was really hard not to laugh because he was so very serious about the entire thing. It was like I’d opened the door to a bizarre new world in which his preschool teacher was not always a preschool teacher. I wonder if he’ll remember that when he’s older. Hahaha.

I have to be at work by 7am instead of 8am tomorrow for an early drop-off, but I do get off at 4pm. That gives me time to run by the library for next week’s classroom books. I can’t wait until Thursday afternoon when my three-day weekend officially begins. I plan to enjoy it thoroughly because I have 2 long days next week and THREE long days the following. My boss said she’s going to try and work it out so there are less long days for me — possibly she’ll give a few half days or extra days to the part time teacher. Ugh, the prospect of three long days in one week makes me fell drastically ill. I can only hope three long days would mean I only worked those three days and had the other days off that week to compensate for three 11.5 hour shifts. Though, I finished two books today, what with all the time I had. Both boys slept from noon until past 3:00, which was just crazy. They’ve been sleeping longer and longer lately, not that I complain. I think maybe the parents wish they’d wake up a bit earlier so they wouldn’t stay up later to make up for napping so long, but I don’t feel sorry for them in the slightest. That’s kind of mean, but if the kids don’t nap for a decent length of time, I don’t get a break. Teaching small children isn’t a job where you can get breaks regularly, you’re constantly engaged. Naptime is when I eat my lunch and get a breather, so it’s important to me. But I privately feel like the parents forget often that I’m more than a “daycare worker”, I think they mostly see me as some girl who watches their kids. I’m not; I have a degree and an active teaching license. My job is not about lying around coloring all day.

I might start slipping into a rant about how teachers and people who work with kids get like NO appreciation ever, so I’ll stop before I get on my soapbox. LOL. Also it’s already 10:00 and I have to wake up at probably 5:00am again tomorrow to be there by 7am, so I should start herding myself to bed. Blaaaaahhhhhh.